April 30th 2003 15 years ago I reached the end where I couldn’t go anywhere but to my knees. I couldn’t move forward or backward. I fell to to my knees and begged God to just end it all. God I said end my life or save me because I can’t go on anymore like this. The addictions the sins the darkness of it all. The life I was living I saw death of friends it opened a world of evil darkness I never wanted to see and filled me with exaustion and the enemy took me down a path I never knew existed. When I was a child I was free I climbed trees rode my bike swam in the creeks I was fearless. The devil knew that God had a plan on my life and He enticed me with people and things to change the way I felt. To fill up that massive hole in my heart, spirit, and soul.
My life consisted of worshiping everything but who I was created to worship. My God I found out is not a God of death but a God of life. He saved me and He saved me radically. He showed me a new way a new life and He is called Jesus. When you are picked up from the mud and lifted in the hands of God you never forget and you never quit worshipping Him. I live for Him the rest of my days. Over time and experiencing the goodness of God I ended up in a crusade in Mexico where I was able to pray with others and experience His presence and healing like I have never seen. I fell to my knees that evening and spread my arms out with this massive amount of wind blowing all around me and told Him I will follow Him to the Cross I will die if needed be for Him. When you are at the point where you will lose it all for Jesus is when He will give you more than you ever could have imagined.
Don’t quit cry out to the only one who can save you. When you are on your knees don’t lay down let Him pull you up. Stretch up your arms to your Heavenly Father and let Him lead you to things you never knew.
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Psalms 40:1-3